


Not a Baby Yoda Thing

by sadlikeknives



Category: Mercy Thompson Series - Patricia Briggs
Genre: Crack, Gen, Rabbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadlikeknives/pseuds/sadlikeknives
Summary: "Who can tell me what this is?""That's a baby bunny," Warren said, decisive, certain, and several people nodded agreement: that was, indeed, a baby bunny.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 76





	Not a Baby Yoda Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This ficlet brought to you by [this xkcd strip](https://xkcd.com/2349/) and the photo of pygmy rabbits on [this Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife](https://wdfw.wa.gov/species-habitats/species/brachylagus-idahoensis) page.

"While I've got you all here, one more thing real quick," Adam said, and he turned to his laptop and closed out of the presentation on their insane witch problem of the month, then opened another file. A picture of two rabbits, fitting neatly into someone's cupped hands, appeared on the wall behind him. "Who can tell me what this is?"

"That's a baby bunny," Warren said, decisive, certain, and several people nodded agreement: that was, indeed, a baby bunny.

But Adam said, "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"I think I know a baby bunny when I see one, Adam."

"It's not a baby bunny."

"That's...two baby bunnies?" Alec tried.

"No."

"That's a snack?" Luke suggested.

"It's not big enough to be a snack," Mary Jo protested.

"You eat baby bunnies?" George asked. "What's wrong with you?"

"Yeah, it's like fishing, you've gotta throw those back until they're big enough," Scott piped in.

"It's two baby bunnies, and a pair of hands," Auriele declared. "That or the murder rabbit from Monty Python is real and this is how you've decided to tell us."

"That already happened," Darryl reminded her. "Remember? Ben was possessed."

From his place near the back of the room, Ben said softly, "Fun times."

"Neither of those," Adam said. "Also, it's not a baby bunny."

"It's a very sophisticated tracking or surveillance device _disguised as_ a baby bunny," Ogden tossed out, and a few people agreed that this was a good guess. Adam looked like he was considering covering his face with his hands, or possibly firing them all and starting over with another, less silly pack.

"It's a _picture_ of a baby bunny," Zack tried. " _Ceci n'est pas une pipe_ and all that."

"No."

"It's a fresh-off-the-nest bunny," Kelly guessed. "So it's not a baby but it's still a child."

"It's a child bunny," Sherwood agreed with a firm nod.

"Is this the Baby Yoda thing all over again?" Ben demanded. "Only with rabbits this time?"

"It's 'The Child,'" Darryl corrected like the giant nerd he not-so-secretly was.

"That's what I'm fucking saying!"

"These," Adam said patiently, even though he was clearly out of patience with them, "are fully grown rabbits."

"No," Warren told him. He showed no hesitation in contradicting his Alpha, because there was no way.

"Yes." Warren wordlessly gestured to the image projected on the wall, and Adam repeated, "Yes."

Warren shook his head. "No. Too small."

Auriele nodded agreement. "Smol, as my students would say. Too smol."

Ben added, " _Illegally_ smol."

"You're close, actually," Adam told him, and Ben looked deeply confused. Adam shifted his attention and addressed the pack at large. "This is the pygmy rabbit. It is the smallest rabbit species in North America, and it is endangered. I recently learned there is a program underway to reintroduce it to parts of its original range, including the Columbia Basin. Therefore, as part of our ongoing commitment to not killing endangered species if we can help it, I ask that you familiarize yourself with its features, and not eat it. Are there any questions?"

"We wouldn't eat it anyway," Warren protested. "It's too small!"

"Luke would, apparently," Carlos muttered.

Elliott pointed out, "Mercy eats mice sometimes."

"I don't eat _baby bunnies_ , though," Mercy argued. "That's just mean."

"But it's not a baby bunny."

"It's endangered! That's even meaner."

"Plus she's coyote-sized so a mouse makes a way more reasonable snack," Darryl pointed out.

"Are there any questions?" Adam repeated loudly, and everyone fell silent.

"No, boss, I think we got 'don't eat the adorable endangered rabbits, and also, please don't get cursed by a witch,'" Warren said after a moment, speaking for the pack. "We'll do our best on both fronts."

"Good. Dismissed. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday."

"I actually do have a question," Sherwood said as people started getting up. "What's 'Monty Python?'"

For a long moment, everyone stopped what they were doing and just stared at their resident amnesiac. The silence was eventually broken by Ben announcing, "I need to lie down." 

"Oh," Mercy said. "Oh, I can't believe Bran let this happen." She looked a little like she might also need to lie down.

Then Adam declared, "Okay, movie night will convene at Warren's at...eight?" he asked Warren. "Is that going to be okay with Kyle?"

He flashed his phone at him in reply: _Sherwood's never heard of Monty Python,_ answered by the emoji with its hands on its cheeks and then, _This is an EMERGENCY._ So that settled that. "Better make it seven," Warren said. "We've gotta get through _Life of Brian_ too. We'll do pizza, so bring money if you still don't know how Venmo works."

"Movie night, Warren and Kyle's, seven sharp," Adam declared. He pointed at Sherwood. "Your presence is required." And with that, the meeting really did break up.


End file.
